Old Pain🔹New Demons

Narc Abuse Symptoms include:  

1. Continual crying

2. Identity erosion

3. Exhaustion

4. Panic attacks

5. Obsessive thoughts

6. Brain hurts

7. Constant searching for the truth

8. Claustrophobia 

9. Confusion  - brain fog

10. Fear of engulfment (even by words)

11. Flipping back and forth in how you see things

12. You feel crazy

13. Flashbacks

14. Anxiety

15. Severe depression

16. Unable to sleep

17. Suicidal thoughts

18. Addiction to the perpetrator

19. Care about nothing - lack of interest in hobbies - lack of joy 

20. Hands shaking

21. Emptiness

22. Loss of appetite

23. Sensitivity to sounds, light

24. hyperconnected - pacing

25. easily startled

26. shame

27. fragile body

28. pain in your chest

29. nightmares

30. avoidance

31. not remembering what happened early on

32. rage

33. hopelessness

34. being on guard for danger

35. lack of trust

36. shutting down sexually

37. grieving one's innocence

38. feeling unhinged

39. disassociation

40. need for solitude

41. fight or flight response

40. need for solitude

41. fight or flight response

42. being numb

43. powerlessness

44. vulnerable to rescuers

45. feeling psychologically raped/defiled

46. preoccupation with revenge

47. moodiness

48. Paralysis of initiative

49. trust issues impulse control

50. destruction of property 

🥀If Rain Is What You Want🥀

How I came to the realization of what was really going on.

I have been researching this disorder for a couple of years now to hopefully gain some insight and to try to understand everything that was happening to me during that time. I am now WOKE and found this video to be very helpful.

LYRICS:

You promised the world and I fell for it. I put you first and you adored it. You set fires to my forest And you let it burn. Sang off key in my chorus Cause it wasn’t yours. I saw the signs and I ignored it. Rose colored glasses all distorted. You set fire to my purpose And I let it burn.

You got off on the hurtin’ When it wasn’t yours. We always go into it blindly. I needed to lose you to find me. This dancing was killing me softly. I needed to hate you to love me. To love love yeah. To love love yeah. To love yeah. I needed to lose you to love me. To love love yeah. To love love yeah. To love yeah. I needed to lose you to love me. I gave my all and they all know it. You tore me down and now it’s showing. In two months you replaced us Like it was easy. Made me think I deserved it. In the thick of healing, We always go into it blindly. I needed to lose you to find me. This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me. 

🥀💔The worst day of loving someone is the day that you lose them🥀💔

My 💔 hurts

LYRICS

My heart hurts I gotta get this off my chest My heart hurts in the worst possible way You came first but now we have to go our separate ways Came back from work on a Friday that shit was crazy Long distance face timing with the lady Picked up the phone what's up, what's up? I'm good, you good? I'm good, not much But I noticed something was wrong Can't even look me in the eyes Got a tracker on your phone, I know that you've been telling lies Got the passwords to your shit, I see you texting other guys I got all the proof I need so why even deny? Who'd you fuck? It's on my head you have to tell me, I can't give it up, no I think about it every day, I cannot go to sleep I need to say My heart hurts in the worst possible way You came first but now we have to go our separate ways And then I went and took you back My boy said I was crazy that you'd do It again and that you'd manipulate me I didn't listen, thought that I knew better Thought if I left that I could never do better First love, first time I'm sick, she got a spell on me That girls a fucking witch, she casted hell on me I feel like I'm a bitch, this is a shell of me Fool me once, shame on you You fool me twice, now I'm looking like a fool My head hurts and I don't know what to do I made this song to say My heart hurts in the worst possible way You came first but now we have to go our separate ways I hope you hear this I hope you hear this I hope you hear this I hope you hear this I hope you hear this