Old Pain🔹New Demons

The Terrible 2

Terrible Two-

Why The Attraction Between A Narcissist and An Empath Is So Strong?

The empath’s desire is to be loved and appreciated by the narcissist. In fact, the narcissist has diminished their self-worth to the point of them having their whole being and sense of self-tied to the love and attention they receive from the narcissist. The empath wrongly thinks that if they can make the narcissist love them, then it means that they are worthy, or if they can make someone who is not capable of loving, fall in love, then it means that they are truly special.

⭐So, they try to heal the narcissist with love and care, hoping that they will give them the love, attention, and validation that they desperately want.⭐

The reason why the empath so desperately seeks love from the unloving narcissist is that they have probably felt unloved or rejected by one or both of their parents or caregivers. Every child needs love, and when someone didn’t receive the unconditional love from their parents, the type of love that every child needs in order to have a healthy psyche, and then they are vulnerable to forming toxic attachments.

And because the narcissist strongly resembles the unloving parent, the empath is drawn to them, desiring from the bottom of their heart to change them receive the love they didn’t get while growing up. It is only then that they feel their self-worth will be recovered and they can find their peace.

Moreover, the empath also associates love with pain due to their early mistreatment from their primary caregivers and their emotional unavailability. So, the empath has become accustomed to being treated coldly and harshly, and that’s why they can tolerate the abuse from the narcissist and stay with them when they need to leave.

The empath gives immense amounts of love and energy into all their relationships. However, when they are in a relationship with a narcissist, they are mistreated and disrespected. The narcissist needs their love but they don’t give anything in return. So, the empath is left feeling depleted and in suffering.

Sadly, in order for the narcissist to change, they must be willing to change and admit to their mistakes and wrongdoings. However, the narcissist is someone who never admits they are wrong. They never think something bad happens because of them. It is always someone else’s fault. Plus, the empath is there to ‘feel’ their feelings, so the narcissist doesn’t feel any incentive to change. Even more so, instead of changing, they will most likely find another empath they can use.

An empath is a giver. They thrive on giving their love and energy to others. But what usually happens is they get exhausted and they lose themselves in the process. They forget about their needs. Sometimes, they don’t know how to protect themselves, especially from the toxicity of dealing with a narcissist. They can’t seem to move away. And the more love they give to the narcissist, the more powerful he feels, and the more abusive they are towards them.

All this leads to а vicious cycle of the narcissist insulting, demoralizing, and tormenting the empath which further makes the empath feel as worthless of love and affection. What is more, the empath starts blaming themselves for the failure of the relationship and starts feeling angry and disappointed in themselves.

But the empath has a choice. They can choose to leave the narcissist and save themselves. In fact, it is crucial for them to do so because if they stay in the toxicity with the narcissist, their whole mental, physical, and emotional health will suffer. Instead, they must focus on themselves, and heal their wounds before it’s too late. 

21 Stages That Every Empath And Narcissist Go Through When They Are In A Relationship:

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1. The narcissist attracts the empath. They begin a relationship. The empath’s love is deep and unconditional. The narcissist, on the other hand, has no intention of developing a stronger connection and getting close to the empath. The empath is happy and satisfied every time they are around the narcissist and they falsely think that their love is being reciprocated.

2. The empath starts to feel like they have finally met the love of their life. The narcissist asserts them by designing an illusion which leads the empath to think that they have a special bond that is impossible to break. At times, it may look like the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the empath, but this is not true. The narcissist only wants to be in control.

3.  As the time passes, the narcissist will try to break the empath’s self-esteem by making them feel weak and unable to do even the simplest things. The narcissist will never openly attack the empath, but they will say something like, “I don’t mean to hurt you but…” and then mention some “shortcoming” of the empath. The whole control of the relationship will be in the hands of the narcissist as they will start making every decision. The empath will gradually start to believe that they are incapable of anything and that they are lucky to have the narcissist in their life.

4. The narcissist will become the sole center of the empath’s universe as they are the ones that are truly in love. They will always try to help, take care of, cheer up and soothe the narcissist. They will always be there for the narcissist whenever the narcissist needs them. The narcissist will try to present themselves as the victim thus manipulating the empath into giving them what they want since the empaths are natural givers.

5. The empath’s intentions are pure. The empath has a good heart and they cannot understand the fact that the narcissist’s wounds are different from theirs, and so is the healing. The narcissist’s wounds cannot be healed with love, as the empath believes because the narcissist is a person who is immune to love.

6. The relationship starts to be all about the narcissist. Eventually, the empath will realize this, because as the time passes, they will start to feel afraid to state or fight for their desires and needs in the relationship. The empath will rather die than give someone a reason to dislike them, so they will still try to please the narcissist even though they are not happy in the relationship.

7. The more affection, devotion, effort, love, and care that the empath gives to the narcissist, the more in control the narcissist feels. And as long as the empath continues to put in the effort into the relationship, it is almost impossible for them to see a problem in the relationship. The problems arise when the empath finally ‘wakes up’ and reaches their breaking point.

8. The empath will eventually raise their voice because they can no longer stand the devaluing ways of the narcissist. The empath starts to feel devastated because their emotional needs are not being met. When the empath realizes that they have been living in a delusion all the time, they will start to speak up their truth. The narcissist is not happy with this new turn of events.

9. The narcissist is someone who needs constant attention. They feel satisfied when people obsess with them. However, they can never be happy no matter how much attention and praise they get from others. They always need more. And the empath often fails to understand this.

10. When the empath finally decides to honestly talk about their feelings with the narcissist, the narcissist is quick to call them “crazy”, “delusional”, or “over-dramatic.” They would dismiss any of the empath’s efforts to save the relationship and they will try to manipulate them again to regain the control.

11.  For an empath, this behavior is impossible to understand. They would start blaming themselves for everything that is wrong in the relationship because the narcissist has them feeling like they are not good enough and they are not worthy of love.

12. The empath fails to understand that they are being manipulated once again. The narcissist has created a twisted way of reality in their minds. The empath is being gaslighted to a point where they cannot believe their own perception and sanity. They couldn’t see the truth that the narcissist is the one who is wrong and wicked, not they.

13. Every empath’s attempt to communicate honestly with the narcissist is pointless. The narcissist will always try to pass the blame to justify themselves.

14.The empath should know that it is completely okay and normal to feel confused, lost, defenseless, and deeply hurt. They need to do a lot of self-reflection and work on themselves to start feeling okay again.

15. Empaths are the healers of society. They have the inner strength that is necessary for them to overcome any challenge that comes their way. They can alleviate the other people’s pain as well as their own only if they are willing to do that.

16. The empath will eventually realize the bitter truth that the narcissist does not deserve their affection, love, and care. They must understand that not everyone who puts a sad face on is showing their true colors. There are many people out there who have vile motives and use many manipulative techniques to get what they want. The empath must face the brutal truth that not everyone who says ‘I love you’ really means it.

17.  In the above situation, the empath needs to understand that they are the actual victim in the relationship – not the narcissist.

18.  ‼️When the empath realizes that the narcissist will never change – this would be a painful revelation and awakening for them. However, this is essential for the empath to move forward and put an end to the toxic relationship with the narcissist.‼️

19. The narcissist will go on with their life as if nothing has happened. They won’t even remember the enormous love and appreciation that the empath has given them.

20. The narcissist will move on and find a new victim.

21. The empath will become wiser, stronger, and more cautious of to whom they give their love, time, and affection.

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